The Story of a Diamond

In the heart of a woman, lies a story untold
Of her trials by fire, her fight to break the mould
Through all her sorrows, through all her pain
She believed her struggle would not be in vain

From the ashes, she rose, stronger and wiser
The power of the universe, alive, inside her
The strength of the ages, the fire of the sun
The purity of love, the depth of the ocean

Dreamer, Achiever, Giver, Nurturer
Warrior, Protector, Conqueror, Healer
She is, but, one woman
And, yet, she is every woman

Her heart in her hands, the world at her feet
She knew her journey was far from complete
Rising above the world, she took her place in the sky
Yet, bonded to the earth by an unbreakable tie

She reached for a star, shaped it into a stone
Adding dimensions that mirrored her own
She honoured every scar caused by a dark night
With every cut she made, the jewel grew bright

Her power filled the diamond with possibilities untold
Unleashing brilliance, no cage could ever hold
You feel her spirit, there is nothing she can’t do
How do you know? Because she is You.


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Laughter and the Sky

You laughed the stars
into the sky
And cried as the clouds
came floating by

Why did they block
the spectacular view?
Had they nothing
else to do?

You will the wind
to chase them now
Applaud as it turns
to take a bow

The moon takes on
a subtle glow
And the twinkling stars
complete the show

This poem is a slightly modified version of my submission to Cubby’s Prompt: Laughter.


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Rainy Days

Countless raindrops
eagerly fall
Gathering in puddles
big and small

The sun plays shy
behind a cloud
Hiding its face,
refusing to come out

Making its way
through the streets
The rowdy wind howls
at everyone it meets

Thunder and lightning
put on a show
Eliciting shock and awe
as they come and go

The parched earth awakens
with a new lease of life
Its penance has ended
and so has its strife

The clouds, overwhelmed,
shed tears from their eyes
Do they weep for joy
or fear their own demise?


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Dealing with Conflict

My husband and I belong to two different schools of thought when it comes to dealing with conflict. The other day a man tried to jump the queue in the supermarket. I was about to intercept him and ask him to get back in line when my husband stopped me. He asked me to let it go. He said, “There is a difference between humans and animals. Some people are uncivilised and have no manners. If we fight with them, how are we any better?” Though that would not be my natural response, the explanation made sense. So, I didn’t push the matter any further.

Lately, confrontation has been my way of dealing with what I perceive to be a lack of regard for rules. I wasn’t always like this. For a long time, I would let these kinds of transgressions slide. Maybe, it resulted from being part of a society where the tendency to “not create a scene” is pervasive. And, phrases like “leave it be” and “anything goes” are particularly endemic. Most people think “It’s not my problem” or “There’s nothing to gain from this” and move on. But, one incident changed my perspective.

I was still in school. It was a weekend and, at around ten in the morning, a group of young men and women were talking in the building premises. There were four of them, probably, in their early to mid-twenties. The conversation, soon, turned loud enough to attract the attention of people living in the building. A few minutes later, one of the men started punching a woman from the group in full public view. The punches then turned into kicks. While there were several people observing this whole incident unfold, including the building security, not one of them said a word. I am ashamed to say that I was one such mute spectator. At this moment, my mother came to the window. The second she saw what was going on, she shouted, “Hey, what are you doing? Stop! Security, stop that man and call the police.” The assault ceased. But, now, everyone was looking at my mother. I was standing next to her. I pulled her back and said, “Why did you have to do that? No one is saying anything. Why did you have to intervene?” She told me, “He was kicking her in the stomach. Think of the consequences. Who is responsible?” At that moment, I realised that when you see someone doing something wrong, you must act to stop it. If you don’t, it is as good as condoning or, worse, partaking in the act. This made me realise that people, who have scant respect for rules or law, are bullies. When they are not opposed, they are enabled and emboldened. The reason for the assault wasn’t clear. But the degree of violence should have warranted immediate intervention.

But, the grocery store incident brought forth another perspective which also made sense. My husband believes that the best way to prevent arguments from escalating is to not indulge in them. He thinks that when someone in front of you loses their temper, the best response is to be silent. If you do that, they will eventually calm down and the situation will diffuse. I must admit I have been at the receiving end of this silent treatment several times. But, the irony is, the results haven’t really been to my husband’s liking. When I am all fired up, I don’t lose steam easily. My philosophy, on the other hand, is to give as good as you get. Living in Mahatma Gandhi’s country hasn’t brought out my peaceful side.

My mother recently told me about an incident. She and my brother were travelling by car to the market. Due to some misjudgement, the car brushed against a pedestrian. My brother, who was driving, immediately apologised. The pedestrian was unhurt but he started raising his voice and said, “If I slap you and say sorry, will you be okay with it?” My mother stepped out of the car and calmly said, “If hitting him will please you, go ahead.” The person was lost for words and just left. She told me that if she had argued with him, things would’ve escalated and gotten out of hand.

So, what is the best approach? When a conflict arises, is it better to be passive or to be aggressive? I suppose the answer lies in the situation at hand. The pros and cons of each approach need to be weighed to determine which one will yield the best result. Would wars be fought if the powers that be had carefully considered the cost and consequences? Would slavery be abolished if there was no revolt? Conflict avoidance may be the best solution in some situations but, in some situations, peace can only be achieved by conflict.

History has numerous instances where the initial strategy had to be changed to achieve the desired outcome. The anti-apartheid movement started out peacefully before resorting to an armed struggle to achieve its objective. On the other hand, the Indian independence movement began with violence but became largely peaceful towards the end. Many conflicts would be resolved if the right approach was adopted at the right time. Personalities of people involved also matter. Aggression is likely to escalate conflicts with megalomaniacs. North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is a classic example. Patience may not yield results with stubborn individuals like Stalin. No one size fits all.

So, which side are you on?

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The Beast

I try to wake from an endless dream
where things are not as they seem

I open my eyes but I can not see
I know not what has blinded me

As I feel my way across the room
I’m filled with a sense of impending doom

As piercing cries fill the air
my heart and soul are filled with fear

When the fog finally begins to lift
I find myself further adrift

Frantic, across the hall, I race
to find the monster in my face

I scream aloud; there is no sound
I’m swallowed whole by the wicked hound

Where dreams begin, my life ends
failed by my last line of defence

Many a battle I did win
but the war is lost to the beast within


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Beyond Borders

It is strange that in this digital age, when the world is getting smaller, it feels as though we are being pulled further apart. It is human nature to seek out people like ourselves; people that we understand and identify with. When people are in their own countries, they connect with those who share their language, religion and region. When they are abroad, they bond with people of their nationality or subcontinent. The sense of safety in what we know and a fear of the unknown causes us to look for the familiar. But, isn’t exploring the unfamiliar the best way to get over this fear? When we surround ourselves with things we don’t know, we start learning about them and they become a part of our lives. In other words, they are no longer out of the ordinary.

So, what happens when we come across someone who is “different”? Are we curious or are we wary? Do we judge them based on preconceived notions or do we try to know more about them? Do we make them feel uncomfortable or do we make them feel welcome?

A few years ago, I took a sabbatical to pursue a short course in a city different from my hometown. I was going back to school after a long time and felt clearly out of place. But, on my first day, I noticed three girls who looked more unsure than I was. They had good reasons to. They were far from home in a foreign environment. With things like different weather and surroundings, unfamiliar people and culture and unknown food and language to consider, they had a lot more to deal with. Not to mention, their appearance set them apart and made them receive quite a fair bit of attention. As an introvert, I kept to myself while other students in my class acquainted themselves with each other.

After a few hours, we were asked to make our way to the lab for some practical sessions. As we entered the lab, it became clear that each system would have to be shared by two students. I took a seat at the nearest available machine. Most people had already decided on who they would pair up with and, as time went by, it seemed likely that my inability to socialise would lead to me having the system to myself. But then I heard a distinctive voice politely ask, “Is this seat taken?” I turned to see one of the girls, described earlier, pointing to the seat next to me. Two of the girls had decided to share one system and the third was left by herself. Since everyone else had chosen their lab partner, I was probably the only option she had. “No, you can take it if you like”, I said. She thanked me and took a seat.

We struck up a conversation and I learned that Agnes was from Ghana and was attending the course as part of a company sponsored initiative. This was my first interaction with someone from Ghana. But, I realised that I had more in common with her than my own compatriots. We were both married and had some industry experience before joining the course.

Over time, I discovered that, like India, people in Ghana have a strong preference for the male child. They also have a dowry system, but the groom’s side pays. They, too, have a tradition of staying with the family after marriage but the family custom determines whether the bride stays with the groom’s family or the other way around. In addition to English names, they have Akan names, which are influenced by the day of the week and the order of birth. I was introduced to Jollof and Fufu.

Agnes was very curious about Indian culture. She found the Indian habit of pouring water from bottles into the mouth rather than sipping from them hygienic. She couldn’t understand why Indians touched the feet of the person they had accidently touched with their foot.

The girls had a tough time with spicy food. A lack of options meant that they, frequently, had cupcakes and biscuits for lunch. Agnes was very adventurous and open to trying out local food. She was also in awe of the variety of biscuits and chocolates available in the supermarket and how cheap they were compared to Ghana; the land of cocoa. I remember the girls spending their leftover allowance on biscuits and chocolates for friends and family back home.

I had rented a small apartment close to the educational institution. Agnes and the girls insisted on visiting me. I tried to dissuade them because the apartment had absolutely no furniture, but they didn’t care. They didn’t utter a single complaint as they sat on a mat on the floor of the living room while I apologized for the lack of chairs.

When the course ended, I was very sorry to see them go. I wish I could’ve taken them home to visit my family. It made me wonder, what if Agnes had not come up to me that first day? I would’ve missed out on knowing such wonderful people; good, kind, polite and generous. I saw the girls face so much ridicule and disdain from some who were quick to judge a book by its cover. But they took everything in their stride.

Many people state their reason for visiting a new place as a desire to experience different cultures. But, should our exploration of cultures be restricted to when we are tourists in a foreign country? Isn’t interaction with people who visit from other parts of the world another way? Some people want everyone to be like them. But, wouldn’t the world be boring if we were all identical? Is it not the differences that spark our curiosity and give us so much to learn?

Having a dialogue with people from different cultures increases our awareness about them. It changes our perspective and makes us more sensitive and tolerant of their customs and traditions. It enables us to embrace and celebrate differences rather than dwell on them. It allows us to know the person beneath the surface. To understand their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations and their fears; to know that beyond the differences, we are all the same.


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Science and Religion

I recently read a blog post which dwells on the perceived conflict between science and religion. While I cannot claim to be an expert in either, here are some thoughts.

Many believe that our belief in a higher power originated with the need to explain where we came from and what happens to us after we die. For a long time, natural disasters and epidemics were considered a wrath of God. Human beings thought that the only way to avoid or overcome them was to appease the Gods. It seems, as though, when the answers to life’s questions eluded us, we wanted to believe that it was the work of an unseen and unknown supreme being. It is something that we practice to this day when we say “God knows” to a question that we don’t know the answer to. Maybe, it is our desire to believe that there is some way to influence things that are beyond our control that made us believe in God; that if we are in the Almighty’s good graces, things will work in our favour.

But, soon, science came along. It provided rational explanations for the same things that were once attributed to a divine entity. The reasons for earthquakes, hurricanes and other phenomena were determined and we, even, found ways to predict and mitigate their deadly effects. Causes of life-threatening diseases were identified and cures for ailments were developed. Science went on to explain how all living organisms evolved over time to become what they are today.

Maybe, science answering questions, that were once attributed to God’s handiwork, created an impression that it was encroaching on religious territory. Because, for people furthering the cause of religion, the more that can be attributed to God, the better. This view, however, would mean trusting the unproven over the proven. Religion may have been the only answer once upon a time. But evidence and facts cannot be ignored.

How much a person believes in one over the other depends upon their own experiences with the two. It is akin to a child who favours one parent over another because that parent fulfils the child’s every wish. A person who has experienced first-hand the miracles of modern science will tend to favour it over religion. Take a woman who, after being childless for many years, conceives using IVF. For her, science is nothing short of a miracle and the doctor is no less than God. Whereas, a person for whom science offers no hope, will turn to faith as a last resort. Consider a man who is in the advanced stages of a terminal disease where, despite all its advances, modern medicine can only do so much. If he recovers, his faith in God is sealed. If not, religion offers, at least, some consolation in the idea of life after death.

Science is based on proven facts. It can tell you about the sun, the stars and the galaxies beyond our own, the highest mountains and the deepest oceans. But it has its limitations. As human beings evolved, our lives became about more than just survival. We began to search for meaning in our lives beyond who we were and what we did; a purpose beyond our mundane existence. Scientific theories cannot help here. For example, science does not have an answer for what happens after death beyond the decomposition of our bodies. And, as human beings, who care about life and want to believe that it does not end with death, these existential questions can be very troubling.

Our internal struggles and conflicts cannot be explained or resolved by science. Science cannot tell you what is right and what is wrong. That is a question of morality. While morality is not synonymous with religion, for many, religion acts as moral compass. Morality is an important part of religion and every religion has some guiding principles on how to live a righteous life. Religious scriptures elucidate the idea of an immortal soul and heaven and hell to keep their followers on the straight and narrow.

Another shortcoming of science is that it is difficult for most people to understand. Religion, on the contrary, has a very strong hold. So much so that people tend not to challenge things that they are asked to follow in the name of religion. In some instances, religion has been used to enforce practices that, over time, have proven to be rooted in science. It is possible that people observed benefits of such practices and decided to codify them in religion without knowing the scientific reasons at the time. Or, maybe, it was just easier to get people to follow them if they were associated with religion.

Religion can drive people to be good and do good. It can provide hope and strength like no other. But, at the same time, it can be used to exploit people and justify horrendous acts. No wonder, Karl Marx called it “the opium of the masses”. This makes a scientific approach to religion necessary. We need to question religion rather than accept it blindly. Because, when you challenge something, and it survives, your faith in it only grows stronger. It, also, makes it difficult for others to mislead you. It is easy to blame God when something bad happens when the fact is that most bad things are caused by the actions of men. We need to accept responsibility for our actions rather than blame a higher power for it.

Science and Religion both have a place in human lives. Their purposes do not conflict. Facts are universal while faith is personal. Science deals with the tangible while the intangible is the realm of religion. Science enables us to understand things in and around us. Religion, on the other hand, serves to help us on the journey to discovering ourselves.


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